I want to stick my p in your. b.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
