the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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