i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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