I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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