I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
