im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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