hotel room ftw
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
