Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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