I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
