I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
