you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
