Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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