This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
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