the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize