i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
