I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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