i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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