I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
