Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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