Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
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as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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