I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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