It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
