Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
