Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
