My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
