i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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