Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Can Purell be used as lube?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
