i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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