Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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