Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
