it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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