Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
