Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
