Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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