Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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