I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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