I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the liver wants what the liver wants
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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