after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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