No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
