Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
