So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
