Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
