hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize