It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
