Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
