Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
