Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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