Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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