WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize