i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
