Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

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(207): View more from Maine

did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?

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(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.

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(283): View more from Ohio

He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.

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(503): View more from Oregon

And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly

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(602): View more from Arizona

All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?

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