Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
MIDGETS
????
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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