Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize