i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
