i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize