): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
