I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
