i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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