I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
