someone threw a dead crab at me
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Houston, we have a blender
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
